The problem: Like an idiot who does the same thing over and over and expects a different result, I have for 19 years tried to get my husband to do things when I want him to do them. And for 19 years he has resisted, we have fought, I have lied about what time we were supposed to arrive at events and it has never failed: He does what he wants ,when he wants. Period. I've been frustrated, cried many tears, stomped off in a huff, and have been a ball of nervous energy waiting for him and its never made him move any faster.
The revelation: No matter how much I try, I can't get my husband to work by my schedule. I know it should have been obvious after the first say - five years. But I guess I just always hoped that "just this once" it would be different.
How I changed: This weekend my family went on a short vacation. I woke up early and started getting ready for the day. In the past, I would have woke up my husband and tell him that we needed to get going so the girls could do XY or Z. This time I got the older girls up, I told them that "Daddy and Mommy work on two different clock's" and that if they wanted to go out they should get dressed and come with me, or they could stay with daddy. They chose to come with me. We went out and had a good time. Later I came back to check on him and my youngest. That is when my husband told me that he heard what I said to the girls. His response - "You finally get it." I guess I did. No arguments. No anxiety. I'm pretty sure this won't work all the time, but it felt good in the moment.
You just guaranteed yourself another 19+ years!
ReplyDelete*giggle*